


winter days like summer daydreams

by Lobo_Loca



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Billiards, Candles Night Exchange 2019, Canon Typical Swearing, Casinos, F/M, Fake Dating, Found Family, Humor, M/M, POV Alternating, Shenanigans, and the longest single fic i've written in oh 10 years, both the casino and billiards are very brief, shows up over a week late, with a fic 5x my initial word count estimate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22398748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lobo_Loca/pseuds/Lobo_Loca
Summary: Magnus won four couple resort passes but only knows one other couple. Lup & Taako are more than willing to fake relationships if it means a free three-day weekend at Neverwinter’s most exclusive resort.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans & Kravitz, Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 166
Collections: The Candlenights Zone (2019 Exchange)





	winter days like summer daydreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_IPRE](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_IPRE/gifts).



> Written for The_IPRE as part of the Candlenights Exchange 2019 over on Tumblr, I hope you enjoy even though it's late!
> 
> Edit 1/25: added the link to the song Barry plays because I forgot yesterday.

Lup’s phone honks like a goose in her hands, a chat head with a picture of six geese popping up with a notification to obscure part of her cleared Candy Crush level. The preview says _Magnus: Fun thing happened at the gym today…_. Anticipating some prime gossip, shenanigans, and/or drama, Lup gleefully opens the group chat thread.

Magnus: Fun thing happened at the gym today.  
They were running this promotion, and I ended  
up winning four couple vouchers for a three day weekend  
at Eversummer Resort. 

Magnus: Carey already called dibs on one. But  
I’ve got two extra in case anyone wants one? or  
knows someone who wants them?

Magnus: Couples only tho.

Lup blows a raspberry, disappointed, minimizes the chat, and almost puts her phone down to go search for snacks when the name _Eversummer Resort_ finally registers. Her thumbs are a blur as she reopens the chat. 

DIBS: Lup

i can def find some1 2 fake date me 4 3 days dw : Lup 

Magnus: Well that’s one down.

Magnus: Wait don’t you usually spend non-  
game day Saturdays afternoons at Evo lab??

minor thing w/ the abjur lab so im banned til Monday: Lup

Apparently when they said see if u can break this prototype : Lup

they meant w/ under ninth level : Lup 

also might’ve blown up my lab space : Lup

fixed it before campus security even showed up tho :Lup 

so idk why they were upset : Lup

She sets her phone downs after she sends the last message and goes to root through the cupboards. Her phone honks as she unearths a bag of chips. A second as she opens the fridge. She grabs the bowl of garlic dip from the fridge and settles back on the couch right in time for a third honk. And here she thought everyone was busy today. 

Taako: 1) they r idiots  
2) u dont have tenure  
3) u could ask Barold

Taako: yknow that guy in necro lab u totally  
dont have a giant death star sized crush on

Taako: and u definitely havent complained  
about

Oh he better not be doing what Lup thinks he is, or she’s going to make him regret it _so hard_. She’s half way through a threatening reply when Taako’s continuation comes.

Taako: his "fucking amazing hugs like getting  
wrapped in a giant Tide-scented, freshly  
toasted marshmallow except better"

Taako: and def havent brought to fam game day  
for three years straight

She is going to eat all the leftovers, put black hair dye in his shampoo, and hide his favorite boots.

fuck you : Lup

i was sleep deprived. : Lup

dont u have lunch prep to do : Lup

This close to making a comment about increasing the risk of food poisoning, Lup puts the phone down for a moment. That would hit a little too close to home for Taako. She’s annoyed at him, and a bit embarrassed that he’s pulling up private receipts from when she’s spent too long awake at the Neverwinter University Evocation Lab, but she’s not actually that upset. It’s not like he sent it in the group chat that has all their friends _and_ Barry.

Lup would’ve probably stolen his favorite cape, made it look like she’d burned it to ashes, and let him cry for like an hour if he’d done that.

Her phone honks three times in quick succession.

Taako: put all of us out of our misery & just  
ask him out lulu

Lucretia: Reminder that this is a group chat.  
Let’s not clutter it up with personal arguments.

Magnus: I, for one, think inviting Barry would  
be a great idea, Lup.

traitors the lot of u : Lup

except u, Luce. u r alright : Lup

Lucretia: So now would be a bad time to  
mention I actually agree with Magnus, all  
things considered

u r all dead 2 me : Lup

With that said, she leaves the group chat.

Except some people have no sense of drama and Lup’s added back to the group chat in less than sixty seconds.

Merle: you’re not getting rid of us that easy.

thx 4 ruining my dramatic exit, goofus : Lup

only thing that could ruin it harder would be : Lup

Capenport finally taking the chat off silent : Lup

and answering Mags’ og question : Lup

Taako: @magnus ill take that 2nd  
voucher off ur hands

Taako: unrelated, if cha’boy wanted to  
place a personal ad 4 a fake date

Taako: whered be a good place 4 that

Merle: Not Craigslist

Merle: damn gnome took down the  
personals section

Magnus: I think that’s more than anyone  
wanted to know about your personal  
life, Merle

Lup tries to put Taako’s suggestion out of her mind. But it’s difficult when she lives with Taako, who only needs to send her an arch brow and a challenging smirk to silently call her a chicken for not asking out the nerd she’s been interested in for almost four years. She knows exactly what he’s doing. Taako knows nothing motivates her more than dares and spite.

Knowing, however, does not stop Taako’s goading from being effective, and she spends her Monday morning bus ride mentally rehearsing how she’s going to ask Barry out. 

If it wasn’t so galling, she’d be grateful. 

Lup reclaims her access card from campus security, skips past the Evocation Labs, and heads into the smaller neighboring Necromancy Labs. No receptionist this early and all the first floor labs are dark, no surprise. The only person more in love with their work than Lup is Barry though, so the lights are on in his lab on the second floor and likely have been for most of the night since he doesn’t have undergrad labs to oversee during finals week.

A workaholic like Barry could definitely benefit from a stay at Eversummer resort.

He’s bent over a dead rodent, lab book open on his right and a tome on his left when Lup peeks through the window. She taps on the glass, laughing as he jumps.

Barry takes one look at her and sighs, but still opens the door.

“There’s a sign,” he tells her. Helpfully, he points to the laminated sign in the window declaring _Don’t Tap the Glass It Upsets the Undead_.

“There’s nothing currently Undead in your lab, it’s fine.”

“You don’t know that. You haven’t been here since before you blew up half the evo building.”

Lup snorts and hops up on an empty lab table. “First, it was one lab, not half the building. Second, It’s against NU policy to have anything reanimated for more than six hours, and no one’s allowed to reanimate anything without that Grim Reaper Dude on campus. I can tell he’s not because the light is off in his office across the hall.” 

“Fair,” Barry allows, going back to his research.

He squints at a passage in the tome, nose scrunching cutely as he glances back at the rodent, and Lup gears herself up.

She can definitely ask him out. It won’t even be that hard, just eleven words. 

_Wanna come with me to Eversummer Resort for the long weekend?_

Lup just needs to say that and she’ll be golden. No more Taako ribbing her about her crush, calling her a chicken. An entire three day weekend with Barry at the most exclusive ritzy resort in Neverwinter.

Except when she opens her mouth, what comes out is, “Hey, Barry, wanna con some rich assholes for a three day weekend stay at the Eversummer Resort?”

Lup closes her eyes. The _one time_ she needed her mouth not to betray her. Taako is never going to let her live this down. 

“Can we con them for research funding instead?” Barry asks before she can correct herself, not even looking up. “Or is the resort stay the only option?”

Lup pauses, doubt creeping in. 

So instead of correcting, she says, “Step one is for the resort stay. Step two is conning the rich chucklefucks at the resort into funding us.”

“I’m in. What am I doing for step one?”

“Mags only has couple vouchers so you just have to pretend to be ridiculously in love with me.” She’s kinda proud of how steady and breezy she manages to say that last part.

Barry glances at her, half-smiling as he jokes, “What, like that's hard?”

Lup preens. Pretends the tips of her ears aren’t blushing, her heart isn’t tripping over itself in her chest, and she isn’t pretty much a light breeze from swooning off the lab table.

Barry waits until Lup leaves, then very carefully knocks his head against a clear section of his lab table. Fake dating the elf he’s been more or less mooning over since her exhibition duel with the College of Evocation dean five years ago. Can’t possibly go wrong.

Also, what was he thinking? ‘What, like that’s hard?’ Might as well stick a glowing neon sign on his forehead that says Tragically In Love With Lup. 

She's going to kick his ass for fake-dating her under false pretenses.

Well. Mostly-false pretenses. 

The Necromancy Lab _is_ chronically underfunded, and Barry would really like to not be funding 90 percent of his own experiments. Also maybe get off of that Likely to Turn Into a Lich watchlist Kravitz claims doesn't exist (except that it definitely does: Barry has seen Kravitz add names to it when he thinks no one's looking).

By the time noon rolls around, Barry has realized he and Lup will be sharing, at a minimum, a room if not also a bed; and that, as a resort, Eversummer mostly likely has a pool which means Lup in a swimsuit and probably having to admit he doesn't actually know how to swim.

Totally 100 percent cool, no issues at all.

He absently wonders if this it what it feels like to be that This is Fine meme. 

Barry presses the uncovered part of his wrist to his cheek, and yup: definitely feels hot enough to be right at home in the middle of a burning building. Wouldn't be hard to claim a sudden flu onset either, but he can't stomach the thought of disappointing Lup.

As if summoned by the thought, a knock sounds at the door of his lab. He opens it to find Lup crouched in front of his door with a lunchbox.

"Still trolling Kravitz I see," he comments, stepping aside to let her in.

Lup scuttles in, grinning. "Like you're not enjoying it just as much as I am."

"He's almost managed to convince himself that Taako's a stage name and he's secretly a NU alumnus that frequents the campus. Related but also not, he's not entirely sure my so-called friend at the evo lab exists because he's never seen you."

"I only get one reveal and I am going to make it _epic_." Lup pauses, head cocked to the side as she looks thoughtfully at the office across the hall. "Grim Reaper Dude’s single, right?"

Barry freezes. "I thought you already tapped me for the resort." He aims for a light, almost joking tone.

Lup blinks at him, then gives him a look. "Yeah, _duh_ , but Mags has yet another voucher and Taako’s been looking at the Craigslist TOS to see if he can’t weasel in a Fake-Date Wanted ad somewhere it won’t immediately be taken down."

"The personal section maybe?" Barry suggests, inwardly relieved.

"Get with the times, Barold. Craig shut that down eons ago."

"I would ask how you know that, but I have a feeling Merle's involved and discretion is the better part of valor."

"Wise choice, Bluejeans."

Barry grins. "To answer the original question: Kravitz is single to the best of my knowledge. And still ridiculously into Sizzle It Up with Taako."

"Cool cool. Think you can hook him into being a fake boyfriend on your own?" Lup asked. "Because half the fun is going to be watching Kravitz lose his mind when he realizes he’s agreed to fake-date Taako."

"The other half will be watching him combust from Taako’s flirting?"

"Yup! Especially when Taako inevitably forgets they're fake-dating." Lup glances at the lunchbox in her hands then holds it out. "Here. There's enough for two, standard reduce enchantment, and food bribes always makes shit go smoother."

"That's your lunch though."

Lup smiles. "Not all of us are on a shoestring budget, Barry. It won't kill me to eat out once in a while. Now go rope Grim Reaper Dude into fake-dating the man of his dreams. Oh, and get me a good pic so I can convince Taako."

"As you wish," Barry says, taking the lunchbox. 

The things he does for love.

(Well, love and good-natured trolling.)

Convincing Kravitz to have lunch with him is depressingly easy given the fact that Kravitz has no friends at the university, is on friendly terms with only a handful of people (Barry included despite the Lich List), and like any university employee jumps on a chance for free non-dining hall food. 

Rather than trek across campus to the nearest dining hall, they camp out in Kravitz's office.

"So, Kravitz," Barry opens, "any plans next weekend?"

Kravitz, poised to take a bite, pauses. "I should've known. There's no such thing as a free lunch.” He sets down his fork. “Why the sudden interest, Dr. Bluejeans?"

"Can you not look at me like I'm about to give you a line out of an obligatory reporting pamphlet? I’m smarter than that, if not the most ethical member of this lab aside from you. Friend of a friend has a voucher for a three day weekend stay at Eversummer Resort, and I thought you might be interested."

"The catch?"

"It’s a couple voucher and he’s single, so he needs a fake-boyfriend for the duration."

"He’s not from the Necro Lab, is he?" Kravitz asks, eyes narrowed

Barry thinks he'd probably have nightmares of disco dancing undead sequined squirrels if he ponders the idea of Taako as a necromancer for more than roughly ten seconds. 

“Istus, no. I know him through a friend of mine at the Evo lab, who’ll be going too. Me as well in case that wasn’t obvious."

"Ah, yes, your friend at the Evo lab who apparently has the power to pry you away from your precious experiments for multiple weekends at a time." Kravitz asks suspiciously, "This friend of a friend, he’s not a serial arsonist or anything, is he?"

"I swear to Istus that he is, as far as I know, not a serial arsonist." Barry may private suspicions about Taako, Lup, and a couple abandoned buildings that have mysteriously burned down over the years though. 

"You’re not selling me here, Barry."

"He’s close with people at the Evocation lab, Kravitz. An appreciation of wanton destruction is practically a requirement." Barry assures him, "This guy's a little rough around the edges but he's a decent elf. He also probably had a hand in making this lunchbox."

Kravitz lifts his fork, considering. "I do appreciate people who can cook." 

"Your obsession with Sizzle It Up with Taako speaks to that."

Kravitz warningly taps Barry's shin with his foot, before busying himself with polishing off half the lunchbox.

Barry casually picks up his phone while Kravitz is distracted. and waits for a good moment to sneakily snap the requested photo of Kravitz.

Once finished eating, Kravitz primly wiped his mouth, saying, "Alright. It is after all a free stay at Eversummer Resort. But if this guy turns out to be batshit, I’m claiming you coerced me, and you can't make me work weekends until after spring break."

"Fair enough. You usually travel by bus right? How'd you feel about carpooling?"

They hammer out travel details for the remainder of lunch. Once back in his lab, Barry texts Lup and sends her the picture of Kravitz.

Lup: oh that's perf 

I would feel sorry for Kravitz except this will probably  
make his entire year, if not his life, after he gets over  
himself : Barry

Lup: this is why u r my fave 

Lup: u get me

Everyone knows Taako’s your favorite : Barry

Lup: taako’s simultaneously the best & worst. he doesn’t count

  
  


Two texts from Lup are at the top of his notifications when Taako checks his phone on his post-lunch rush break. He opens them with glee.

Lup: i asked Barry

Lup: 2 come w/ me to Eversummer

Oh, how Taako has missed this sweet, sweet taste of victory and the smug satisfaction of _I told you so_. He spends five minutes searching for the perfect reaction gif.

* gif of striped party poppers exploding with neon glitter  
confetti to reveal the word Congratulations in glittery,  
glowing crimson cursive* :Taako

Magnanimously, he decides not to gloat over his rightness. 

Much.

look at my sister : Taako

all grown up and finally asking out a boy : Taako

He opens the groupchat to crow over his, and Lup's, success and is about to hit send on the announcement when Lup texts him again.

Lup: as my fake-date

Taako deletes his unsent message and tabs out of the groupchat with lightning speed.

… : Taako

Lup : Taako

sister dearest : Taako

center of my universe: Taako

who i love more than life itself : Taako

R U FUCKING KIDDING ME : Taako

Lup: i panicked!

Lup: what if he said no to being my real date??

Lup: chagirl wants that weekend at Eversummer

"I love my smart, amazing, kick ass sister," Taako says to the empty alley behind the restaurant, "but sometimes she is the absolute dumbest goofus in the planerverse."

worst case? : Taako

1 of us casts disguise self : Taako

1st lvl spell slot nbd : Taako

we sell the extra voucher 4 mad  
money : Taako

Lup: oh

u forgot we r kick ass wizards  
didnt u : Taako

Lup: in my defense

no no u work in the evo lab : Taako

u have no excuse : Taako

Lup: no see i work in evo lab

Lup: i never use illusion spells

lies : Taako

u used 1 2 days ago 2 hide  
my fave boots : Taako

Lup: whatver 2 late already asked him to  
be my fake date

what am i gonna do w/ you : Taako

Lup: owe me 4ever bc i found u a fake date

Lup: * image loading *

Normally, Taako would trust Lup's judgment and save himself some effort, no questions asked. But after a weekend of winding her up in hopes of resolving some long overdue romantic tension between her and Barry that ended with Lup asking Barry to be her fake-date? 

Nuh uh. Taako is not falling for that.

He might end up with someone so far from his preferences he'd have to drink mouthwash religiously for a month to get the taste out. Or they'd be so boring Taako could fall asleep looking at them.

Bad company would ruin the entire weekend, no matter how many mojitos he sipped poolside under that sweet artificial summer sun.

lulu no : Taako

i know u r annoyed re: group chat thing : Taako

but forcing me 2 fake date some rando ive  
never laid eyes on : Taako

is a little much : Taako

Lup: oh…

Lup: ill tell him u r not interested then

Which is of course when the photo she sent finally loads and Taako just about drops his phone from the thumbnail. He taps it to enlarge the image. The photo is of a dark-skinned human at lunch, suit jacket draped over the back of his chair, tie loosened. His sleeves are rolled up to reveal strong forearms and a black braided bracelet with a red-eyed raven skull charm, and he’s wearing a dark waistcoat patterned with iridescent black feathers. His eyes are closed as he obviously enjoys what looks like part of Lup’s lunchbox. 

Lup knows him all too well, and there must be a pitfall somewhere just waiting for him, but _damn_. The man’s eye liner and style is sharp enough to kill a lesser being. Taako can live with walking straight into a Lup trap for a man like that. 

hold up : Taako

let’s not be hasty : Taako

u r after all my dearest sister : Taako

who has nothing but my best interest  
at heart : Taako

i cant let ur good intentions go 2  
waste : Taako

Lup: 😂😂😂

Lup: just try not 2 be highkey thirsty

Lup: seeing as u r supposed 2 be  
dating him & all

no promises : Taako

whered u even find this guy? : Taako

Lup: dw about it

_Definitely a trap_ , Taako thinks looking at the photo again. 

But, man, what a way to go.

The week passes in a flash, and before Kravitz knows it, he’s loading his suitcase into the trunk of Barry’s car and squeezing into the passenger. 

Knees against the dashboard, Kravitz says, “I’m regretting this already.”

If Barry’s surprised by Kravitz’s lack of work accent, he doesn’t show it. “There’s a bar under the seat. Pull up and kinda lean back. Should give your legs some room.” 

Kravitz follows the instructions, and the seat helpfully rockets back as far as it can go. He can still touch the end of the footwell with his heel but at least he can stretch his legs now. The car roof is still uncomfortably close. Kravitz hopes they don’t have to go over any speed bumps, and that Barry’s suspension isn’t crap.

“Okay, fair warning,” Barry says mildly, pulling into traffic. “The car has a slight overheating problem. If it gets too hot I’ll flip off the recycled air and crank the heat, but it’s winter so it should be fine? Probably won’t even need to crack the windows even if we do start overheating.”

Kravitz glances at the window. “Bluejeans, are these _hand crank windows_?”

“Astute observation, Kravitz.”

“You said you had an overheating problem: do you usually just crank the one window and pray you don't start overheating?”

“I know the Mage Hand cantrip, Kravitz. You’d be surprised how much it comes in handy.”

Kravitz groans, wondering if it’s not too late to just throw himself out of the car. 

A free three day stay at Eversummer Resort, meals included, he reminds himself. Barry is also a highly accomplished wizard, his focus on necromancy aside, so even if the car is worse for wear they’ll probably make it there in one piece.

They follow the GPS out to the outskirts of Neverwinter, cityscape slowly fading into suburban sprawl until they hit the surrounding forest, trees picturesquely dusted with snow. They take the Eversummer turn off and wind almost five miles up a hill before the resort comes into view.

The Eversummer Resort rests on top of Winter Crest hill, overlooking Neverwinter. Shielded by the Dome of Eversummer, the temperate is always a balmy 75F and a pseudo sun keeps a summer daylight schedule even during the cold dark nights of winter. The resort itself is mostly glass and chrome molded into sharp modern architecture. Kravitz thinks it’s more intimidating than welcoming, but then again he’s not in the Eversummer Resort’s target audience.

Barry turns his car over to a politely skeptical valet as Kravitz grabs their bags from the trunk.

A flash of purple and gold catches his eye. Kravitz turns and the purple turns out to be a giant sunhat, the gold the glint off the simple hoop and star earrings on the pointed ears of a startling familiar elf standing in a group with another elf, a human woman, an orc woman, and a dragonborn.

He stares for a long moment. 

Causally, Kravitz grabs Barry’s arm and hisses, “Bluejeans, am I seeing things or is that elf in the sunhat Taako?”

“Oh, yeah.” Barry briefly glances over his shoulder then goes back to scanning the parking lot. “Taako’s staying here over the weekend too. Did I forget to mention that?”

“ _Yes_. Wait, you _knew_? _I_ would've known if he posted about it on social media, but he didn't so how—?”

“Oh, hey, I think I see Magnus.” Barry points to a bear of a human man attempting to carry several suitcases across the parking lot. “He’s probably got the vouchers so let’s—”

“Hey!” a familiar voice shouts behind them. “Hey, Barold!”

Kravitz glances back and sees Taako, hands cupped around his mouth. 

Taako yells, “Get your ass over here with my hot as fuck boyfriend! We need to check in stat: I have us booked for hot stone massages at 12:15!”

Kravitz turns very slowly to stare at Barry.

Barry blinks back at him blandly.

“ _Barry Jorts Bluejeans_ ,” Kravitz intones with the grave tone he’s practiced in the mirror for when he inevitably has to confront a necromancer for their crimes. He just imagined the crimes would be more along the lines of ‘perversion of natural law’ not ‘unprecedented trolling’. “Did you set me up as Taako’s fake-date for a three-day resort getaway?”

Barry is less than impressed. “My middle name isn’t actually Jorts, you know that right? Also: _you’re welcome_.”

“I’m telling the dean to pull your funding,” Kravitz tries.

“Here I am, about to introduce you to your celebrity crush, who you get to fake-date for an entire weekend, and you’re threatening my livelihood?” Barry puts a hand over his heart as if mortally wounded.

“You couldn't have at least given me the half an hour car ride to compose myself?”

Barry rolls his eyes. “You took a college-level drama class: you’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, my _freshman year of undergrad_.”

“Tick tock, chucklefucks!” Taako urges.

“Lay one single black rose on my grave,” Kravitz tells Barry seriously.

“Your goth mom can do that. I’ll wipe your browser cache and burn all your risque Sizzle It Up with Taako posters.”

Kravitz snorts, muttering a dry, “Thanks.”

He takes a deep breath before walking towards Taako, trying to project an air of assured confidence and not look like a total dweeb with really, really sweaty hands about to meet their favorite celebrity for the first time in the flesh. An easy feat so long as Kravitz doesn’t think too hard on their current circumstances.

Taako grins at him and promptly latches onto Kravitz’s arm. Kravitz locks up, too nervous to do more than glance furtively at Taako out of the corner of his eye as the elf swings them both around to face the rest of his entourage.

“Introduction speedrun real quick before we check in. Human’s Julia, married to that muscle mountain Magnus bringing ‘round the bags.”

Julia offers a small wave. “Here’s hoping you can last the weekend.”

Taako casually flips her off, and continues without missing a beat, “Dragonborn’s Carey, Magnus’s best friend; do not play cards with her, you’ll end up penniless and naked before you realize it.”

“Hey, you cheat, I cheat. I just happen to be a thousand times better at it.”

Taako ignores her. “Killain’s the orc, married to Carey, and yes, she can crush your skull barehanded but she won’t because that’d upset me which would upset Magnus and in turn Carey.”

Killian offers a nod.

“Last and certainly not least,” Taako says—and he must be casting Prestidigitation for Kravitz to hear a drum roll and see faint lights surrounding an elf nearly identical to Taako—“my amazing twin sister Lup of the NU Evo lab. You’ve definitely heard of her if you know Barry.”

“Yes, I do believe I’ve seen her around campus a few times.”

Lup grins at him, entirely unrepentant for almost a year of subtly trolling Kravitz with Barry. He’ll have the brain power to be annoyed at her later.

“So, babe, everyone. Everyone, babe,” Taako said, concluding his introduction.

“Kravitz,” he supplies, trying not to be disappointed Taako apparently doesn’t even know his name. He wonders if that was deliberate on Barry and/or Lup’s part or if Taako’s simply too uninterested to remember it.

Taako leans his head against Kravitz’s shoulder and peers at him from under his lashes. “Like the musician.”

“Like the musician,” Kravitz affirms blankly, transfixed.

A sly smile spreads across Taako’s face, and Kravitz has but a moment to appreciate it before Taako is leaning around behind him and calling out to Magnus. 

“Yo, Mags, you got those vouchers?”

"Considering how often I forget stuff the moment I set it down," Magnus says as he starts handing the group their respective suitcases, "I handed them over to Jules for safekeeping the day I won them."

Julia accepts her suitcase with a kiss. "Oh, is that why you married me? Because I'm good at keeping track of stuff?"

"I married you because I love you. Everything else is just a bonus."

Taako rolls his eyes. "Be grossly in love with your wife on your own time. Some of us have schedules to keep."

"Says the elf who's never once been on time for anything he doesn't cook," Julia returns, handing over one of the vouchers.

"Taako has his priorities in order."

With that said, Taako whisks Kravitz into the lobby to check in.

The rest of the group follows at a more sedate pace, Lup and Barry bringing up the rear. Lup scopes out the other guests in the lobby.

“Do you think they have billiards tables here?” she asks Barry. “Because chagirl sees some hella nice kicks.”

Barry smiles at her helplessly. “Maybe wait to look until later this weekend? I'd like to get some vacation in before we're permanently barred. Also, I promised Kravitz a full weekend and if you start hustling Taako is physically incapable of not joining and/or heckling, and he might be petty enough to talk with the university dean about pulling my funding if that happens.”

Lup tilts her head, considering. New shoes are always nice but a vacation with Barry and Taako is better, hands down. “I guess I can put off finding a table since you asked so nicely, honeybear.”

Barry ears turn red at the nickname. Lup inwardly pats herself on the back, but decides to be merciful and not call him on it, even if flustering him would make him even cuter.

“C’mon, let’s check in so we can go exploring.”

They acquire their room keys and head to their room. The group’s rooms are clustered together on the south side of the resort near a common area with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the pool. Taako and Kravitz have come and gone, Lup judges, by the Do Not Disturb tag hanging on the handle of their door. 

The individual rooms are spacious in way that practically screams spatial magic. Lup drops her bag by the foot of the California king bed while Barry drops his by the couch.

Lup makes a split second decision.

“I admit the couch looks nice,” she says, hiding her sweaty hands behind her back. “But the bed is def big enough to share, Bar.”

If the weekend’s going to be a series of bittersweet fake-couple moments, might as well go for broke. And if she happens to roll over in the middle of the night and cuddle up to Barry like he’s a giant teddy bear, she can always wave it away as habit. 

Barry scratches at the back of his head, ears red again. “I mean, if you’re sure, Lup. Wasn’t sure what your policy on bed-sharing is so I just kinda assumed one of us was going to take the couch.”

“Team bed share all the way. As long as you don’t steal the blankets or fart all through the night. I once made the mistake of sharing with Merle, and let me tell you _never again_.” 

Lup still can’t quite meet his eyes. She busies herself with poking around the suite instead of just awkwardly staring at the walk. 

The first door she opens is a walk-in closet that is definitely an interdimensional space. The second reveals an ensuite bathroom equipped with a jacuzzi tub big enough for six Magnuses, a shower with transparent glass, a two-sink long vanity bracketed by full length mirrors, and a toilet room.

Reasonably calm now, Lup faces Barry. “The others are probably waiting for us. Let’s go explore.”

The rest of the group has decked out in swimsuits, making their first destination obviously the pool. 

The Eversummer Resort Pool is about the size of a football field, surrounded by faintly sparkling white tile and flanked by various lounge chairs and tables.

“Aw,” Carey says, pointing to a giant sign standing directly in front of the pool with giant red letters in an imposing font, “it says no cannonballing.” 

Lup makes eye contact with Magnus, who has on his usual loafers.

“You know what this means,” she says, grinning almost maniacally.

Magnus grins back, and they chorus, “Time for a Meteor!” 

“Okay, but,” Barry, who has never joined them for water activities before, but clearly recognizes impending shenanigans, “think of the _spell slots_ , Lup. Is this really worth it?”

“Meteoring is always worth it, my dude. Also only takes one 2nd level spell slot. That’s barely anything.”

Barry looks to Julia for confirmation.

“They’ve done worse in worse places,” she says shaking her head fondly before walking away with Carey and Killian trailing behind. 

Carey gives Lup and Magnus two thumbs up as she passes.

Magnus pauses his stretches just long enough to return the gesture. “Ready, Lup?” 

“Whenever you are, homie!”

He jogs back a few paces, cracks his neck, and then takes off at a sprint. Just before the edge of the pool, he jumps, bounding nearly 60 feet straight up over an empty patch of pool. At the peak of his jump, Lup casts Levitate.

“Get ready to catch,” she tells Barry.

Barry barely has time to look confused before Magnus tugs off his Leaping Loafers and chucks them down. Barely managing to catch the first, the second hits Barry in the face, knocking his glasses eschew.

“SORRY!” Magnus yells before curling into a ball. “LET’S GO, LUP.” 

With a cackle, Lup boosts him up another 20 feet, which automatically releases the spell.

Magnus starts to fall. “INCOMING!” 

“This isn’t going to kill him, right?” Barry asks, staring at the rapidly descending Magnus. “Because I’m pretty sure Kravitz’s contractually obligated to kill me if I try to resurrection sentient creatures for selfish reasons.”

“No worries, honeybear. We’ve done this plenty of times with Merle supervising.”

Barry looks at her askance. “Merle sucks at healing.”

“ _Exactly._ Everyone’s still alive and not missing anything, ergo, it’s perfectly safe.”

“I really don’t think that’s how it works.”

Magnus hits the water like a boulder, spraying up large waves that drench nearby swimmers and crest over the sides to wet Lup and Barry’s shoes. He softly lands on the bottom of the pool then surfaces with an enthusiastic whoop.

Immediately, the elf lifeguard, wearing the resort staff’s standard uniform save for an enchanted rainbow bow tie, bolts up and screams, “THE SIGN EXPLICITLY SAYS NO CANNONBALLING.”

“Time to go,” Lup says cheerfully, grabbing Barry’s hand and tugging him away from the pool. She waves vaguely in the direction of Julia et al. “Later, homies!”

“NO RUNNING,” the lifeguard yells after them.

Post-pool escape, Barry’s more than willing to follow Lup’s lead. The world is always a little brighter next to her, and he can’t think of a better place to be. 

They breeze past the spa and nearly empty lounge next to the pool without more than a glance, end up back in the lobby. Barry’s eyes go straight to the signboards, weighing what he knows of Lup and trying to guess where they’re off to next.

What he doesn’t expect is a poke.

He glances at Lup and finds her point at a grand piano tucked in a corner between a decorative plant and the glass paneling.

“Can they get any more pretentious?” she asks.

“Eversummer Resort is _the_ most expensive resort in Faerun, possibly the planerverse: Their brand is pretentiousness. It’s probably so unused and out of tune my playing might sound palatable.”

“You play?”

“Dabble,” Barry admits. “Mainly for shits and giggles on a cheap keyboard.”

Lup pulls him towards the piano, and says, “Play me something.”

“Like what?”

“Whatever song you know best.”

Barry thinks for a moment and [starts playing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKLzwUggKDI). 

Lup squints at him. “This sounds familiar. Why does this sound familiar?”

“Probably because it’s a cover and no one is ever going to give up the original.” 

About a minute in, Lup recognizes the song and breaks down laughing.

“You absolute troll,” she playfully scolds, leaning against the piano and beaming.

“You love it,” he returns. 

(Barry pretends that he doesn’t he want to say instead _You love me,_ and have it still be true.)

Lup’s smile softens. “Yeah.” She watches Barry standing over the piano for a long moment before straightening. “C’mon, let’s see what else this place has got before someone complains about us touching the decor.”

She holds out her hand. Barry doesn’t let himself think twice before taking it.

Lup picks a direction and off they go.

They find a fine dining restaurant, an upscale grill, a ballroom rave, and five different bathrooms before discovering the casino.

Lup is practically vibrating as she looks around at the various tables and slots. “I bet they’ve got blackjack.”

“I have, let me see,” Barry says, checking his wallet, “five dollars in cash, and maybe a dollar in coins? Do you think they take anything besides Amex?”

“Oh you sweet summer child,” she says, sticking her hands in the pockets of her sundress. She comes out with two hefty wads of cash, and hands one of them to Barry. He thinks it’s all 15 dollar bills, but a hundred 15s is still 1,500.

“I thought that thing you mentioned got stolen?” Because Barry would’ve definitely looked more into collab projects with Lup if he knew she could’ve gotten the budget for it without promising the Evocation dean her firstborn. 

Lup grins. “Honeybear, my brother’s the greatest transmutation wizard alive, possibly the greatest in the planerverse. With the both of us working on it? Easier than cake.”

“You take blackjack, I’ll take poker; whoever wins the most in an hour wins, winner picks a place out for lunch next week, loser pays?”

“You’re on Bluejeans.”

They shake on it and queue to get chips. Once they get up to front, Barry tries to let Lup go first. Lup pats him affectionately on the arm, then manhandles him in front of her, much to the amusement of the clerk.

Barry picks the poker table with the best sightlines to the blackjack tables, and can’t help but feel warm when Lup does the same. 

He plays the first hand to win, netting himself a nice pile of other people’s chips to add to his own. Over the next four hands, he loses easily half his previous winnings. The other players are split between pity and mockery. Barry would probably cry to see that much money change hands under normal circumstances, but he resolutely puts that thought away to maintain a bored expression when he eventually goes all in. One of the players bowed early, and another folds as Barry pushes his chips to the middle. The other three players call.

Barry flips his winning hand and inwardly delights as those three players curse him out.

“I think that’s enough for today,” he says. He slips the dealer a 500 chip. “Do you think I could get a bucket or something to carry them?” 

The dealer takes the chip and slides him a small Bag of Holding.

Barry rendezvouses with Lup back at the chip counter, comparing their winnings as they cash out.

“Aww, I knew I should’ve taken poker,” Lup says, “Your win. Anywhere’s fine, but the whole not almost broke thing’s on the downlow so maybe not anything bank-breaking expensive.”

“Alright, I’ll think about it. Where to now?”

“Hmm. How ‘bout we drop the extra cash in our room? We can get our bathing suits while we're there and head back to the pool. Julia has probably been charming enough by now that two-bit wizard lifeguard won’t glare at us the entire time, or Taako’s heckled the dude enough that we’ve completely slipped his mind.”

“Looks like those goofuses found the pool,” Taako says as he and Kravitz leave the spa.

“So it seems.”

Taako’s only known Kravitz for like an hour, which was admittedly spent mostly face down on adjacent massage tables, but the dude is like an automaton stuck on coolly polite. Not that he doesn’t make a very attractive automaton. Taako just appreciates more engagement from people than vague, lukewarm response at almost scheduled intervals.

The fact that _Barry_ —who’s as interesting as store-bought white bread except when it comes to magic theory—manages to get livilier answers out of Kravitz is beyond mortifying. Taako is infinitely more interesting than someone who spends the majority of their time cooped up in a lab with dead shit.

“Let’s go grab our ‘suits and join ‘em,” Taako decides, gesturing to where Magnus tries to sneak up behind and dunk Carey, only to fail and be dunked himself by Killian.

If Kravitz is a block of wood with just Taako, maybe more people to take the pressure off will help his statue of David impression. Side bonus: in grabbing their swimsuits, they’ll also have some alone time. Taako’s hoping to use that to learn a little more about Kravitz.

And by ‘a little more’ he means basically anything because Taako knows exactly three things about Kravitz:

  1. His name is Kravitz
  2. He knows Lup and/or Barry
  3. He has seen Lup on campus



Lup has been unusually stingy with the details whenever Taako asked about his date over the last week, so much so that he didn’t even get a name until Kravitz himself provided it. Barry also kept mum, likely under Lup’s orders. Taako suspects there’s something about Kravitz that’s part of whatever trap Lup’s laid for revenge.

He absolutely refuses to believe it’s Kravitz personality. No one so committed to the raven goth aesthetic that he manages to be so beautifully, so completely on point in both professional and casual attire could have all the personality of a brick wall. Taako’s just hoping it’s more on the ‘just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing’ end of the spectrum and not ‘insufferable asshole’. 

Though, the aesthetic coupled with knowing Barry does unfortunately point to someone affiliated with necromancy circles, most of whom are definitely not like Barry. Taako is fairly sure Lup wouldn’t set him up with a lich wannabe. Not without warning and definitely not without invoking some kind of blood feud first. 

So caught up in his thoughts, it takes Kravitz hesitantly waving a hand in front of his face to realize they’d made it back to their room.

“Material plane to Taako,” he says, a bit of personality finally breaking through. “Do you copy?”

“Roger that, hot stuff. Got distracted thinking about my next TV special,” Taako lies.

“Oh?” Kravitz says, stepping back into the room and polite interest.

“Y’know me, Taako from TV. Sizzle It Up’s doing a Valentines’ Day special with both chocolate and non-chocolate desserts because some poor chucklenuts can’t eat it or, Itsus forbid, don’t like it. Who doesn’t like chocolate?”

Kravitz hums from where he’s bent over his suitcase.

Taako can feel his eye twitch. Yeah, back to plan A.

“Enough about me though, handsome,” he says, using Mage Hand to pick up and open his suitcase. “What about you? What’s the Kravitz story?”

“Oh I’m not that interesting. Usual story of growing up in the suburbs, classic college experience, ended up getting a job in a completely different field than what I studied because there was an opening and it paid better.”

Taako gives him an A+ on conciseness and a F- on absolutely everything else. He’s read Tinder profiles that have more information and emotion.

Mage Hand returns with his glittery neon purple boardshorts covered in rainbow binicorns, and his resort relaxation materials bag.

“Which college?” Taako asks he takes his shirt off and starts unbuttoning his skinny jeans.

There’s a long pause before Kravitz asks distractedly, “What?”

Taako glances at him. “You said you went to college, thug. Which one?”

“Oh, uh, University of Silverymoon. For both undergrad and graduate.”

Taako whistles. “Good on you, thug. How about hobbies? Got any of those to go with your fancy Bramble League diplomas?”

While waiting for the answer, he pulls off his jeans and pulls on his boardshorts. He stuffs the materials bag in his pocket.

“Uh,” Kravitz says, voice suddenly about a half octave higher than it was a minute ago. “No not really. Nothing worth mentioning.”

“All work and no play huh, thug?”

“That’s what this weekend is for. Enjoying myself. I mean, _relaxing_.”

“You okay there, homie?” Taako asks, because he’s not sure he’s heard someone sound that sort of strained before and he knows multiple workaholics.

“Perfectly fine, Taako. Thank you for asking. Let’s go rejoin the others.” Kravitz opens the door, fully intent on heading to the pool.

Taako blinks. “Not to question your life choices, Kravitz, but do you wanna, I dunno, put _on_ your swimsuit?”

Kravitz looks at the black swim trunks with little jolly roger skulls still clutched in his hand, turns, and walks straight into the bathroom.

“Was it something I said?” Taako calls through the closed bathroom door.

“No, no, I’m fine. Just go on ahead. I’ll catch up once I’ve changed.”

Kravitz does, eventually, head to the pool after spending five minutes running cold water over his head in hopes of cooling off his face and salvaging some dignity. The slightly risque Sizzle It Up With Taako limited edition calendar hanging up in his apartment had not adequately prepared him for coming face to face with Taako stripping five feet away. 

When Kravitz finally makes it to the pool, he loiters awkwardly by the door. Taako and the rest are gathered near the middle of the pool, and Kravitz could, as Taako’s fake boyfriend, pull a chair up next to where Taako’s getting some sun and drinking cocktails, but Kravitz is also liable to make an even bigger fool of himself the closer he is to Taako so that’s plan out. Barry and Lup are the only people he vaguely knows. Tragically they’re still exploring the resort.

“Hey, uh, Kravitz, wanna join us for some Poolball?” a hulking man holding a red pool noodle who Kravitz thinks is Magnus, patron saint of this entire venture, calls from the pool. He jerks a thumb at the dragonborn and orc across from him (Carey and..Kill? Killian? Kravitz thinks, the married ones).“These two are definitely colluding and I could use some backup.”

Relieved for an in, Kravitz agrees. ‘You’ll have to explain the rules to me as I’ve never played.”

“Considering I’m pretty sure Lup, and maybe Taako, invented it, I’m not surprised.”

Kravitz is fairly confident that if Taako came up with a pool game he would’ve snuck a mention into his last summer episode of Sizzle It Up when he did a segment on the Top 10 Poolside Cocktails, but wisely keeps that to himself.

As Kravitz slides into the pool, Magnus turns to Taako.

“Think you could whip us up another pool noodle for your boyfriend, Taako?”

“Of course, I can. I’m not like that wimpy wizard lifeguard with only a handful of spell slots under 5th level.” After a beat, Taako adds, “And anything for my darling, of course.”

He grabs the straw from an empty cocktail on the table beside him, then grabs the straw out of Julia’s glass for good measure.

“Thanks ever so much for asking, Taako,” Julia drawls, taking a pointed sip from her glass. “I wasn’t using that at all.”

“Aren’t I so generous to take it off your hands then?” Taako replies cheerfully.

He tucks one end of a straw into the end of another, then claps the joined straws between his hands. They sparkle and flash with multicolor lights for a few moments—Kravitz can’t tell if that’s a byproduct of the transmutation or Taako adding a bit of his trademark flare. Taako opens his hands and brandishes a two-straw long, black pool noodle. After a quick enlarge spell, he casts Mage Hand to ferry the foam noodle over to Kravitz. 

The Mage Hand offers the pool noodle with all the dignity as one would a sword to a knight. With just as much solemnity, Kravitz accepts it.

He looks to Taako, and in a moment of impulse, perhaps taken by some Shakespearean spirit, he says, in his best posh accent, “Thank you, my liege, for the gracious gift of your sword.”

Taako _stares_.

Kravitz thinks for a long moment that he’s just made a giant fool of himself and he’s going to be fired from being a fake boyfriend post-hate. Then Taako throws his head back and guffaws, sunglasses falling and eyes bulging and mouth open. It’s not an attractive look, but the sight still makes Kravitz warm down to his toes and proud.

He made the notoriously suave and unflappable Taako persona crack enough to see the elf underneath. Even reciting stupid jokes every day for the rest of his life would be small price to pay just to keep seeing more of Taako.

"Wow," Magnus says. "He usually tries not to laugh like that in public."

"Maybe I'm good for him then."

Magnus looks him over appraisingly. "Maybe you will be. C'mon let me teach you the finer points of Poolball."

Lup walks out into the pool area, Barry on her heels, just in time to watch Kravitz bat a glittery purple beach ball with TaakoTM written on the side in swoopy golden cursive towards Killain only to get a blue and a red pool noodle in the face, courtesy of Carey and Magnus.

The lifeguard looks like he’s waiting for someone to put him out of his misery, glaring daggers at their party.

"I thought I was on your team," Kravitz says to Magnus, waving his black pool in what he probably intends to be an intimidating manner. If it was a scythe, he might've succeeded. The pool noodle flaps limply and is about as intimidating as spaghetti.

"That was your first mistake," Lup informs him, dropping into the lounge chair next to Taako. "All Magnus sees in Poolball is the ball and so it becomes Noodlewack instead."

“I thought we agreed the name Noodlewack was banned,” Killian says.

“Only when Merle’s involved,” Julia says.

Kravitz glances between Julia and Lup, then turns to Barry. "Should I ask?"

"Merle is an acquired taste," Barry says. "Half of that's immunity and half is learning to ignore about 80 percent of what comes out of his mouth. So if Merle’s involved, no, you probably shouldn’t."

Lup snickers. “He’s not _that_ bad, as long as you don’t get him talking about plants.”

“Keep scaring my boyfriend and none of you chucklefucks are getting anymore free drinks outta Taako,” threatens Taako, sliding down his sunglasses to give them all a pointed look.

“As someone who personally delivered your boyfriend to this resort, can I get a rum and cola before you cut everyone off?” Barry asks.

“You’re on thin ice, Barold.”

Taako pulls a red and white marble out of his pockets, and the group in the pool pauses their game to watch. 

He transmutes the marble to a liquid state, pulling it to ribbons and spinning them in circle to form a marbled white and red glass. With Mage Hand, he scoops some water from the pool, sends it spinning into a mini cyclone to purify it, then freezes it into a small column of ice. Taako flicks the top of the column and a cube spin off and lands in the glass. He continues flicking down the column until the glass is full of ice. Next, he pulls a bottle of golden syrup out of his pocket, screws off the top with his thumb, and as he pours the syrup into the glass it transform to white rum. He flips with bottle with a flourish, and this time the pour turns into dark brown cola. 

Taako exchanges the syrup bottle for a straw with an umbrella skirt, sticks it on top, and hands the drink to Barry. “Don’t expect another one anytime soon.”

The game of Poolball restarts, except a dazed Kravitz isn’t paying attention enough attention and ends up accidentally dunked as Magnus leaps to hit the beach ball.

“If you’re going to try and kill Kravitz, can you at least have the deceny not to do it in front of my face, Magnus!”

“No promises!”

“Kravitz seems to be working out well,” Lup comments with a shit-eating grin. Kravitz fits Taako’s visual type to a T, after all, and even if Lup thinks they’ll get along well there’s always an element of chance with matchmaking (also risk when one sprinkles in some mischief). Taako showing off is definitely a positive sign on his end. 

She just hopes Kravitz doesn’t have a serious accident while he’s dazzled by Taako’s antics.

Taako half-heartedly kicks at her lounge chair. “He’s finally showing some of the personality behind that pretty face is all. Would be boring as hell if he went back to a brick wall.”

“Ooooh, you _like_ him.”

“Shut it. At least I’m more proactive then you,” Taako hisses quietly, glancing pointedly at Barry.

Lup kicks his chair and sticks her tongue out at him. “As if, you’re practically strangers.”

“And who’s fault is that? I distinctly remember that _someone_ wouldn’t tell me anything no matter how much I asked.”

“It’s almost like people won’t tell other people stuff when those other people have a habit of toting shit out in front of Itsus and everyone.”

Barry peeks at them over his rum and cola. “Is there twin drama I’m missing out on?”

“No,” Lup says at the same time Taako says, “Kinda.”

Lup adores Taako with all her heart but sometimes she just wants to strangle him. “I wouldn’t call it _drama_ per se,” Lup says.

Taako nods. “Drama involves explosions, or at the very least fire. The farthest she’s gone is hiding my boots and setting me up with Kravitz, and since I was, possibly, slightly out of line—like half a pinky toe out of line—I have magnanimously decided not to retaliate.”

“Setting you up with Kravitz is not a trap,” Lup tells him. It’s even true. Not telling Taako Kravitz is a huge ass fan is slightly revenge orientated, but for the most part it’s setting him up with a fake date he might actually like and want to real date. A hundred percent trap free.

Which of course is not what Taako’s expecting of Lup in light of her own fake date instead of real date fiasco, and means that the trap Taako’s caught in is his own paranoia and in no way Lup’s fault.

Taako squints at her suspiciously. “That exactly what someone setting a trap would say.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m going to figure before it springs,” Taako tells her. “Just watch me.”

Barry, who knows exactly what she’s doing, hides a snort in his drink. 

“Have fun with that,” Lup says, leaning back in the lounge chair.

As if to punctuate her statement, the beach ball flies out from the pool to smack Taako in square in the face.

Lup cracks up as a giggling Carey calls out, “Sorry.”

Taako calmly picks up the sunhat and sunglasses the ball knocked off, places them on the table, and empties the pockets of his boardshorts.

He downs the last of his mojito and says direly, “Magnus, get your ass over here and give me that pool noodle so I can show these chuckles fucks the _real_ meaning of Poolball.”

“I’m gonna nap,” Lup tells Barry. Exploring the resort was enough excitement to keep her awake after an all-nighter of panic packing and general pre-fake date anxiety, but she’s starting to feel the crash coming on. “Wake me if Taako’s about to murder someone, or dinner time rolls around.”

Taako comes close to accidental manslaughter a couple times in his battle against Carey, but nothing that prompts Barry to wake Lup early. 

The party troops back to their rooms to change, and, after a unanimous vote, they head for the upscale grill for dinner. A server seats them at four two-person tables and leaves them with the menus. Magnus immediately pushes three of the tables together, only stealing chairs and silverware from the last table.

“I was expecting better furniture at _the_ Eversummer Resort,” Magnus grumbles, poking at the flimsy metal table and eyeing a chair distrustfully before gingerly sitting down. “Like, okay, the room furniture wasn’t bad, but this probably can’t even take one hit, and it’s just. Boring. A square sheet of metal on three thin rods.”

Julia makes an agreeable sound, cracking open a menu.

“Could definitely use some ducks,” Killain agrees.

Kravitz catches Barry’s eye and mouths, _ducks?_

Barry shakes his head.

Taako and Lup take turns making disgusted noises at the menu items, and reading the description in mocking voices. Barry can’t help but notice Kravitz gazing at Taako, cheek in one hand and completely starry-eyed.

Barry hopes he doesn’t look like that when he looks at Lup.

“Whatcha getting, Barry?” she asks, pressing against his side.

Barry pretends to be engrossed in the menu and not hyper aware of the line of warmth where Lup’s body meets his. “Uh, steak, probably. Place like this has to have the good cuts, and it’s hard to ruin a good steak.”

“Fair. I’m thinking scallops, but lobster is super tempting and I don’t feel like I’ve ascended to the astral plane when looking at the sticker price thanks to the voucher covering meals.”

“That voucher is exactly why Taako is getting the most expensive item on the menu,” Taako butts in. “Watch this space for a live critique.”

Lup snorts. “As if you’re not going to go right back to your room to take notes for a comprehensive video review later.”

“Taako has fans to please. I’m not going to complain when new content practically falls into my lap. What other celebrity chef do you see reviewing Eversummer Resort?”

“I’m sure your fans will be very appreciative,” Kravitz says.

Barry can’t tell if he means that sarcastically, sincerely, salaciously, or as empty flattery. 

It’s slightly horrifying. Seeing Kravitz moon over Taako’s public persona from afar has been vaguely entertaining. Seeing him do it in person with the real Taako is a whole other kettle of eels.

He thinks introducing Kravitz to Taako may have been a mistake.

Taako preens. “At least someone around here appreciates my artistry.”

“You have artistry?” Magnus asks, expression schooled into the picture perfect example of innocence except for one twitching corner of his mouth.

Julia bites back a grin at Taako’s look of pure affront.

“Magnus Burnsides, you take that back _this instant_.”

Lup shoves her face into Barry’s shoulder to muffle her laugh. Barry can feel his ears burn and hopes his face isn’t red enough to match.

The server comes back to take their orders before it can escalate into a good-natured argument. They briefly pause at the new seating arrangement, but don’t comment. There’s a brief debate at the table over wine and whether the voucher would cover it. The eight of them err on the side of caution and have a second bottle of water brought to the table. Barry slides it in front of Taako, who rolls his eyes, but gamely performs a Jesus and turns water into wine. The server eyes the bottle like they’re thinking of calling a manager over until Taako slips them a handful of 15 dollar bills.

Once the server walks out of earshot, Lup leans over the table towards Kravitz and says, “Okay, it’s been like a day now I _have_ to ask: what happened to your accent, Krav?”

Kravitz immediately looks to Barry for help, and Barry, who’s also a bit curious for the answer, avoids his gaze and glances at Taako, who seems delighted by this turn of events.

“You have an _accent_ , my dude? Don’t hide it on my account. Taako _loves_ a good accent.”

“Oh, er, well,” Kravitz fumbles, in the face of Taako’s beaming. “It’s really not that important—”

Lup, of course, isn’t going to let him get away with that kind of excuse. “It’s like 90 percent Cockney, 10 percent posh, 100 percent fake as hell,” she tells Taako. “You should hear him do presentations; it’s _amazing.”_

“Wait, you put on a fake accent at work?” Magnus asks.

Kravitz ignores Magnus, turning his attention to Lup. “Which presentation did you sit in on? I think I would’ve noticed you in the audience.”

“The one you do at the start of the year for the baby necro undergrads. The whole ‘Become a Lich and Die Horribly’ spiel complete with summoning the soulbound scythe. Which, sidenote: hella cool. Anyway, you probably just saw me once and forgot.”

“I’m sure you have many flaws, Lup,” Kravitz says, lightly, “but I can’t imagine _forgettable_ is among them.

Taako snorts, throwing his arm over Kravitz’s shoulders. “That settles it: we're officially keeping you. Welcome aboard the Starblaster, thug. We’re all one big happy family and shit, but if you find the exit, let me know. I’ve been looking for like a century.”

Kravitz very slowly turns to Barry, eyes begging for an explanation of what exactly he’s been roped into.

Barry shrugs. His folding into the outer circle went just about the same. “I showed up once to play boardgames, they decided I fit in, and haven't been able to shake them or their nonsense since.” 

“Speaking of games,” Julia says, obviously taking a bit of pity on Kravitz, “which one of you knuckleheads is responsible for the notice slipped under our door that none of our party are welcome in the casino? Not that I wanted to go, but it’s always good to know what’s going to be on the eventual wanted notices.”

Lup wrinkles her nose. “We didn’t do anything worth a wanted poster. We just counted cards for an hour and walked out with, uhh, 20 or so times the starting amount.”

“You should’ve told me you planned to hit the casino today,” Taako whines. “We could’ve made it 30.”

“Pretty sure they would’ve kicked us out for that much,” Barry says.

Kravitz eyes the two of them. “How much did you start with?” he asks cautiously, taking a sip of wine.

“Three grand.”

Kravitz chokes. Taako helpfully slaps him on the back until he can breath again. “You won _60k_ in an _hour_?”

“What,” Lup and Barry chorus, “like it’s hard?”

They manage to hold serious expression until they make eye contact and collapse into each other, laughing.

“Rich people bet ridiculously high in poker,” Barry explains. “Especially when they think you bet like an idiot and can’t bluff your way out of a wet paper bag. But that’s like an entire year of funding I don’t have to worry about.”

“Okay, 60k in an hour is somewhat impressive. It usually takes Lup and I like a fortnight straight of hustling at the really upscale pool hall to get that much.”

Barry can see the moment Kravitz realizes there’s a lot more to Taako than just what he performs on Sizzle It Up. Good thing Kravitz seems intrigued more than anything.

Dinner passes in a whirl of anecdotes, arguments, and glasses of wine. Somewhere between obligingly lobster claw sword fighting with Lup and Magnus pulling a block of wood out of somewhere and whittling a duck right there at the table, Taako starts dozing, lulled by familiar conversation, the comfortable heat of someone next to him, and some damn good Taako brand wine.

He’s gently shaken away when everyone starts breaking away for the night.

“Need a lift back your room, buddy?” Magnus asks, squatting next to his chair.

Taako yawns and stretches. “Nah, I’m good, homie.” He glances across the table to where Lup is more or less face down on the table and snoring. “Seems like that nap didn’t do much for her. Wine also puts a sizeable dent in her ability to pull consecutive all-nighters. Take note of that for the future, Barold.”

“I thought she went home early from the lab yesterday,” Barry says, gently sliding Lup from the table to his back with some help from Julia.

“Five o’clock would be going home _on time_ , Barold. She’s been looking forward to this, and you know how Lup gets when she’s excited.”

Barry glances at where Lup’s slack face presses against his shoulder, face helplessly fond. “Yeah,” he says softly. “More wired than the Energizer bunny.”

Taako turns to make a ‘can you believe these clueless idiots’ face at Magnus, only to find Kravitz has replaced the big oaf and Magnus has already disappeared along with Julia. At least Kravitz seems to understand and offers an empathetic grimace.

“I’ve suspected that Barry held a candle for his friend at the evocation lab,” Kravitz says quietly as Barry pigbacks Lup out of the restaurant. “ “I didn’t realize it was quite this bad.”

“What’s worse is that Lup’s _exactly the same_. The mutual pining is getting so old. And I can’t say bupkis to either of them aside from a vague ‘go for it.’ Their revenge would be swift and brutal and not worth it,” Taako whines, draping himself over the table. He takes a moment to rearrange his arms and torso so he’s three parts alluring and only two parts defeated. Chaboy’s got priorities. 

Kravitz doesn’t seem to notice Taako’s efforts. “I assume the resort getaway was part of a plan?”

“She was this close to making a real, actual romantic getaway.” Taako holds up his thumb and index finger so close they’re nearly touching, repeating, “ _This close_.”

“You may have to take drastic measures if this weeknd doesn’t work,” Kravitz says, holding out a hand.

Groaning, Taako peels himself off the table. He takes Kravitz’s hand after a moment, finding it a little sweaty but pleasantly warm, and squeezes it gently. Kravitz squeezes back.

Score one for Taako.

“Taako’s got enough going on without interfering in someone else’s love life,” he says, swinging their joined hands as he heads for the exit.

Kravitz falls into step with an agreeable noise.

They walk back to their room in companionable silence, Taako sneaking glances all the way. Dinner, or perhaps the wine with dinner, has loosened Kravitz’s tie and shoulders a bit, his sleeves are bunched up halfway up his forearm. He looks like he enjoys being next to Taako, instead of trying to be as far away as possible.

Taako thinks he likes this Kravitz much better.

When they get to their room, Kravitz drops Taako’s hand to grab his keycard, and Taako pouts a little. It’s been a while since he’s held hands with someone, and it was...nice. Different then locking arms with Lup or getting pulled under Magnus’s arm, but warm and steady all the same.

Kravitz makes a beeline for his suitcase once the doors open, as if forgetting Taako even exists.

Taako contemplates transmuting something a little sexier out of the too-large sleep shirts and short shorts he’s packed, but in deference to Kravitz’s previously wooden demeanor he opts to leave them as is, and goes into the bathroom to change. 

He comes back out to find Kravitz already changed into a t-shirt and flannel pajama pants covered in fat round raven chicks decked out in various goth styles (it’s almost offensively cute and Taako can’t believe Kravitz can pull them off) and packing away his dirty clothes. Kravitz also proceeds to slam his suitcase shut on his thumb.

Dude is waaaay more accident prone than Taako would’ve imagined, but it just adds to the adorkable charm.

“I’ll, uh, take the couch,” Kravitz says as he carefully eases his thumb out of his suitcase.

“As someone who co-owns an incredibly comfortable couch, I can respect that,” Taako says, perching on the edge of the bed. “But also, the bed is _enormous_ and I, for one, am not a blanket thief. Though maybe I should say sheet thief seeing as there’s no actual blanket. Which may put a dent in your couch plans. If you’re super worried about sleeping boundaries, I’m down with building the Great Wall of Pillows straight down the middle.”

Kravitz hesitates. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Taako can’t help a snort. “Trust me, thug. If Taako has a complaint? You will hear it.”

“I’m starting to get that,” Kravitz says blandly, making his way to the opposite side of the bed. He stiffly tugs up the sheet and awkwardly settles on the bed.

“So that’s a no on the Great Wall?”

“Do _you_ want the Pillow Wall?”

“Taako’s just checking. Taako don’t care.” That said, he sends Mage Hand to flip the switch and crawls under the sheet as the room descends into darkness.

Kravitz isn’t sure what he expected to wake up to in the morning. Taako wrapped around him like a clingy octopus certainly isn’t anywhere on the list. His hands, thankfully, are free. Kravitz tries to gently disentangle himself, but it seems whenever he gets a limb off, it comes right back despite the fact Taako appears to be dead to the world. After ten minutes, Kravitz resolves to go to breakfast.

Best case: Taako wakes up on the way there and Kravitz gets an earful about parading Taako around with bedhead. 

Worst case: Taako doesn’t wake up, none of his friends are up yet, and Kravitz has to go knock on doors to find Barry or Magnus and hope one of them has a way to detach Taako.

It’s not that he really minds the extra contact. He’s just not sure how happy Taako will be with it.

On the way down to the grill again, Kravitz gets some odd looks, though relatively few thanks to the early hour. Luck is with Kravitz for once: he spots Magnus and Julia at a table near the front. Breezing past the maitre d’, he grabs a chair and drags it over to their table.

Magnus glances up as Kravitz sits down. Then he clocks Taako and snickers. “I see you got caught by the good ol’ Taako limpet.”

“This is a regular occurence then,” Kravitz surmises. “Some warning would’ve been appreciated.”

“That was Taako’s job. Take it up with him,” Julia says as the server appears with their orders.

Kravitz takes the opportunity to order coffee, and an omelette with a plate of waffles. The server jots down his order and doesn’t even blink at him or Taako. 

He still waits until she’s out of earshot to ask, “How do I get him off?”

Magnus grins widely, and Kravitz has a very bad premonition as he opens his mouth. Before Magnus has a chance to say anything, the table jolts. Magnus glances at Julia, who arches a single eyebrow as she eats a forkful of hashbrowns. He looks contrite for a split second, then turns back to Kravitz with a more friendly smile.

“The smell of coffee under his nose usually does the trick,” Magnus says. “Or if that’s too much of a hassle just throw a glass of water on him. That’ll get off right quick, but watch out for his elbows. They’re sharp and bony.”

A scraping on the floor heralds another chair getting dragged over to the table, this time by Barry. Kravitz is gratified to see that he too has fallen into the clutches of a sleeping elf.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume that doubles for Lup,” Barry says.

Magnus shrugs. “Should. Worked like a charm last time I forgot to prepare pillow decoys and woke up with a limpet on each side.”

“Thanks for that advice that came about, oh, twelve or so hours too late.”

“Twin business, not ours,” Magnus and Julia chorus.

Kravitz wonders if there’s a handbook on dealing with these people. And, if it does exist, where he can get a copy.

The server comes back with Kravitz’s coffee, which he gratefully takes. He mourns that can’t drink it for a moment, then slowly waves the cup near where Taako has his nose buried in Kravitz’s neck. Nothing happens on the first pass. On the second, Kravitz can feel sniffing and a nose trailing down his neck. Taako, eyes still close, lifts his head on the third pass, nose doggedly following the trail of steam wafting up from the cup and one of his hands unclenches from Kravitz’s shirt to grope around for the coffee.

Kravitz carefully presses the cup into Taako’s searching hand, warning, “It’s hot.”

Taako lifts the cup to his face, practically burying his nose in it, before taking a long drink.

“Oh yeah,” Taako moans as he finally opens his eyes, “that’s some good shit right there.”

He leans over the table to wave the cup at Lup. Unlike Taako, her hand strikes out with unerring precision to grab the mug and gulps down the remainder without pause.

“Good shit,” she echoes. 

She cradles the cup to her chest and nestles her head deeper into Barry’s shoulder. Barry’s face is the reddest Kravitz has ever seen. He’d tease Barry about it, except Kravitz is in pretty much the same boat minus the mutual part of mutual pining.

“Would you like your own chair?” Kravitz asks Taako.

Taako hums, unwrapping his legs to slide into Kravitz’s lap instead. Unclenching his second hand, Taako folds both his hands on Kravitz’s shoulder and rests his cheek on his hands. His hair brushes Kravitz’s cheek as he says, “Nah, handsome, you’re plenty comfortable.”

That’s fine. Kravitz will just sit as still as possible and eat his breakfast until he finally spontaneously combust. 

The server brings over three new mugs and leaves them a full coffee carafe after taking Taako’s order (and Lup’s order via Taako), bless her. Kravitz hopes someone with pockets has enough cash to give her the tip she deserves. 

The first mug new mug of coffee he pours he gives to Taako, the second he keeps to himself. Barry tries to cajole Lup into letting him refill her cup at first, but she refuses, curling as much as she can around the coffee mug without letting go of Barry. Eventually, he fills his own cup. Only to have it snatched away a moment later, and replaced with Lup’s empty one.

Barry sighs. “I should’ve know you love coffee more than me.”

Lup hums. “ _Coffee_.”

Taako laughs. “You’re not going to get anything useful out of her until at least her third cup, Barold. Not after how hard she went down last night.”

Lup comes to full awakeness halfway through her third cup of coffee as Magnus and Julia head out, and can feel the blush start in her ears and creep all the way across her face. She weighs the pros of staying where she is (Barry really close, warm, soft, they don’t need another table) and the cons (Barry really close, Taako is going to give her shit _forever_ ). Decision made, Lup sets down her coffee.

Barry pauses, leaning down a little to look at her face. “Awake now?”

“Yep!” she squeaks and hurriedly disentangles herself as her brain chants _too close, too close, abort, too close_. “Oh hey the table next to us open, I’ll go sit there.”

She grabs her cup and the mostly untouched plate that has to be hers, and beelines for the empty table behind the very chummy Kravitz and Taako. Taako smirks at her, barely keeping his laughter in check the entire time. She balances her mug on her plate, and flicks his ear as she passes.

Surprisingly, Barry follows her over.

Lup mentally runs through a few different apology options, but doesn’t end up choosing one, distracted by Taako’s nearly inaudible, “ _Uh-oh_.”

She immediately straights, turning and stretching her neck as she tries to match Taako’s sightlines. It’s not until she sees the glint off a telescopic camera lense that she realizes. There’s a two-bit paparazzo hiding in the bushes lining the perimeter of the resort, probably trying to cash in on a socialite scandal, and decided a celebrity chef with a new beau is close enough.

On the one hand, she kinda wants to set the photographer on fire. On the other, she kinda wants to see Kravitz’s reaction to ending up on the front page of a tabloid.

"Hey, Kravitz, uh,” Taako says, aiming for casual and fooling absolutely no one except _maybe_ Kravitz, “totally random question here, asking out of pure genuine curiosity, no ulterior motives whatsoever, promise: do you or anyone you care about read gossip rags?"

Lup can’t see Kravitz’s face, but she can definitely imagine the side-eye Taako is getting right now. “Uh, not gonna lie, Taako, that’s a weird question. One of my moms browses them at grocery store checkouts sometimes I guess, but that’s it. Why?”

“Oh cool cool, just idle curiosity.” Taako relaxes a little. After a moment his left arm goes up and around behind Kravitz’s neck so Taako can give the camera a middle finger where Kravitz can’t see it.

Lup shakes her head. “I can’t believe him sometimes,” she whispers to Barry.

“I think Taako, by definition, is unbelievable.”

Lup laughs. “Fair.”

They finish eating breakfast, and head back to their rooms to change. Lup’s slightly embarrassed to realize she’s still in her clothes from dinner last night. She opens her suitcase and contemplates her options for the day.

She turns to Barry, who’s also looking thoughtfully at his suitcase. “Hey, since we did the stuff I wanted yesterday, let’s do the stuff you want to do.”

“Oh,” Barry says, scratching his head. “I don’t really have anything? I mean, we hit the casino yesterday and 30k’s enough to fund my projects until it’s time to apply for more grants. The rest of my plan was hanging out with you. All. You all. Y’all.” Barry winces, and repeats, “There wasn’t anything I practically wanted to do.”

Lup frowns. “Really? Nothing you want to do at _the_ Eversummer Resort, Neverwinter’s premier resort?”

“Nope.”

“We need to find you hobbies besides work,” Lup decides.

“I mean, I brought the new Caleb Cleveland novel to read if I got bored.”

“Such a nerd,” she teases. “You can grab that if you. I’m going to go see for myself if the pool lives up to the hype.”

“Not going to spend half the day sleeping again?” Barry asks as he picks out his swim trunks and heads for the bathroom.

Lup knocks their shoulder together as he passes. “Like you’re any better after an allnighter crash.”

She’s relieved a night (and half a morning) of sleepy glomping hasn’t made thinks irreparable awkward between them.

The pool is nearly empty when they arrive, despite being mid-morning. In the pool, Carey and Killian are racing. Magnus has set up poolside with a small mound of wood from somewhere and is working on yet another of his famous ducks. Julia turns the page of her sci fi novel next to him. Taako’s stretched out sideways on a lounge chair so he can put his feet in Kravitz’s lap. Kravitz seems pleased, if flustered, by Taako’s rapidly shrinking boundaries. He also looks like he’s regrets not bringing anything to occupy his hands or cover his face.

Lup’s envious of their progress, but chooses not to dwell on it. Kravitz’s is going to owe her approximately forever over this after all, and Taako about two years.

She drapes her towel over the chair on Kravitz’s other side, asking Barry, “You sure you don’t want to join me in the pool? No Poolball, I promise.”

“Barry’s good out here,” he says, pointedly sitting down and cracking open his Caleb Cleveland novel.

Lup laughs, kicking off her flip flops. “Suit yourself then.”

Barry enjoys a good mystery, but he only manages about a thirty pages over three hours before giving up and resigning himself to being thoroughly distracted. To be fair, though, Lup glistening in the sunlight, head thrown back as she laughs freely is _very_ distracting. Especially when Barry’s more used to her triumphant cackles than her giggle-snorts or shrieking laughs. He could probably watch her like this for hours on end.

Taako’s voice cuts off his train of thought before it can extrapolate from there.

“That’s a weird face you’ve got there, Barold.”

“I was born with it, Taako,” Barry replies, bringing his book back up to shield his face.

“Lies: there are spells for that. You just don’t want to use a spell slot.” Taako uses Mage Hand to slowly lower the book. “I was talking more about the expression, however, which I don’t think’ll change unless you manage to fall out of love with Lup. Judging from the past few years, I think the odds on that are _not in this lifetime_ followed closely by _never_.”

Which, fair. Not that Barry will admit that out loud. He likes what little dignity he has left. 

“Yeah, no offense, Barry, but I’m pretty sure ‘pining after Lup’ is the first thing I learned about you,” Magnus, ever helpful, chimes in. “Which is kinda impressive since your face pretty much screams nerd.”

“At least I have taste. Unlike Taako.” Barry is not letting this conversation turn into a discussion of how obvious his crush is or, Istus forbid, some kind of intervention, so redirection it is. Taako is, conveniently, the easiest target. 

“Hey!” he protests, sitting up to wag a finger at Barry. “There is nothing wrong with Taako’s taste.”

Julia doesn’t even look up as she says, “Magic Brian.”

The group, except for a confused Kravitz, pauses to shudder.

Taako leans against Kravitz’s shoulder. “Yeah, okay, fair. But in my defense, I realized my mistake within the first fifteen minutes of that date. And the background check Luce did on him didn’t turn up any glaring red flags.” 

Carey floats over to rest her arms on the side of the pool, tilting her head back to look at them. “Are we roasting Taako about Magic Brian again? Because I wasn’t in town for that, but even I can tell he’s definitely traded up with tall, goth, and dorky.”

Kravitz awkwardly turns his head to the side and coughs. Barry would feel slightly bad, but if Kravitz plans on sticking around and Carey inevitably finds out this weekend’s supposed to be a fake date, the resulting teasing will make this trip feel like a walk in the park.

“I dare you to look me in the face and tell me that Kravitz is not rocking the Grim Reaper aesthetic,” Taako says.

Kravitz covers his face with hands, muttering, “Can someone cast Banishment? I’ll take even take a Sleep spell.” 

“He’s not working in the necromancy lab, though, right?” Carey asked Barry. Kravitz makes a deeply affronted sound behind his hands. “Because I think that would be taking the aesthetic a little far.”

Barry coughs to cover a laugh. “I mean, technically he does?”

Kravitz opens a gap between his fingers to glare at Barry.

“Don’t give me that look, you do,” Barry says, before turning back to Carey. “I don’t remember the official title but most of the necro lab calls him The Overseer. He’s there to make sure no one’s turning themselves into liches or doing unethical magic on dead things. Also a devoted follower of The Raven Queen, which is probably how he got the job in the first place.”

“I was wondering about all the feather and bird motifs,” Taako says, waving at Kravitz’s raven-patterned swim trunks.

“I for one didn't notice, but I also haven't been staring at him near constantly,” Julia says. 

“Not all of us brought a personal himbo, Mrs. Burnsides.“

“Sounds like a you problem, Taako.” 

Magnus laughs then pauses. “Wait, my Int is too high for me to be a himbo.” 

“Int only counts if you remember to use it, homie.”

“Speaking from experience there, Taako?” Barry asks.

“If by ‘experience,’ you mean reminding Lup that 1st level spells are a thing, then yes.”

A jet of water shots out of the pool, dousing Taako’s head, but miraculously sparing everyone else in a way that screams spell shaping. 

Taako splutters. “What was that for, Lulu?”

“Being a hypocrite,” Lup says, climbing out of the pool. “As if you’ve never forgotten a spell.”

Barry mutely passes Lup her towel. Lup grins at him, dries her feet, and sticks her feet in his lap as she flops onto the lounge chair. 

Barry feels his ears go red. Very casually, he flips his book open and hides behind it. He hears a snorts, his face heating. Apparently Taako’s not fooled, which means Julia definitely knows with even odds on Magnus and Lup. Barry’s torn between wishing Lup doesn’t notice, and almost hoping she does. If she notices he likes her, she’ll do something about it. Whether that’s clearly telling him she’s not interested or otherwise.

Being this close, hope’s starting to hurt. Barry’s starting to think a couple awkward weeks would be worth an answer. He just needs a little courage.

And maybe some practice with courage first,

Killian swims over before he can make a decision, asking, “So we have lunch plans yet? Because I’m hungry enough to ditch all you, except Carey.” 

After lunch, the group starts to split off. Carey and Killian head off to the spa. Kravitz wants to go to a classical concert the resort is apparently holding and Taako has half a mind to accompany him even if classical music isn’t Taako’s usual idea of a good time.

Until, that is, Lup announces, “Chagirl’s going to find the secret pool hall.”

Taako is one step behind her because secret pool hall definitely his type of joint (sorry, Krav), only to have Barry tap him on the shoulder before he gets too far. Taako sighs, and longingly watches as Lup disappears around a corner.

He turns to Barry. “This better be good, Barold.”

“Could you teach me to swim?” Barry asks.

“You don’t know how to swim? Aren’t you like 40? That’s middle-aged for humans right. You’re that old and still don’t know how to swim?”

“It seemed kinda trival, after learning Levitate and Water Breathing. Also, I know the receding hairline’s misleading, so I’ll forgive you this once, but I’m 32 and well within my prime, thanks for asking.”

“Whatever.” Taako starts walking towards the pool, calling over his shoulder, “By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be swimming like a duck.”

“Quack,” Barry deadpans. He follows Taako back to the pool regardless.

Standing at the edge of the pool, Taako considers simply pushing Barry into the pool. He does after all know Water Breathing, and throwing themselves into the deep end is how Taako and Lup learned.

Lup would probably appreciate more delicate handling of her human though.

“You know how to float, Barold?” Taako asks.

“Uh, with magic, yeah, but I’m guessing you mean in water, which, yeah, no.”

“Cool, starting with the real basics then. Let’s find a good patch in the shallows, and get the rich fucks out of it.”

Taako get several dirty looks for that, especially from said rich fucks in the shallows. However, they very quickly clear off when they recognize Magnus coming up behind Taako and Barry.

Taako fondly pats Magnus’s shoulder. “See, your useful for some things, even if you are a himbo.”

“Whatever you say, Taako. I’ll be working on my tan over there if you need me,” he says, taking their towels and Barry’s phone and walking off with Julia.

“Okay, Barold into the pool, like hip deep at least.”

Taako patiently walks Barry through how to float on his back, then transmutes a towel into a boogie board and has him practice kicks. Barry lasts for about an hour before calling a break.

“Not bad for a nerd,” Taako says.

“Takes one to know one, Taako.”

Magnus snickers, holding Barry’s phone out towards him. “You got a text message about five minutes ago,” he explains.

Barry takes it with a sigh, murmuring to himself, “Please don’t be the necro lab.”

“Please be the necro lab,” Taako says, just to be contrary. He peers over Barry’s shoulder to read the text.

Lup: Guess who found a basement? :D

Taako silently curses Barry and his sudden self-improvement kick, instead commenting, “A basement’s promising.”

“Please don’t abandon me for a basement.”

“I make no promises,” Taako says. “Also you’ve got ten minutes before we’re back in the pool.”

Barry groans.

By the time Kravitz wanders back from the concert, Barry’s progressed to trying to kick and use his arms at the same time.

Taako beelines for the pool edge and grins up at Kravitz. “Long time no see, Handsome. Enjoy the concert?”

“I did.” Kravitz glances out into the pool. “Having fun with...whatever it is you and Barry are doing?”

“I’m teaching him to swim, and no, I do not consider any of it fun, but alas, needs must. Not everyone can be as accomplished as I am, and every now and again I magnanimously grace such people with knowledge.”

“Very altruistic,” Kravitz agrees dryly.

Barry manages to doggy paddle his way to the edge. “Break time?” he asks hopefully.

“Fifteen minutes,” Taako allows, pulling himself out of the pool. He turns and helps Barry out too.

Magnus is once again holding out Barry’s phone. Barry dries off his hands and takes it. 

Taako’s tempted to lean over and read over Barry’s shoulder again, but that would mean moving away from Kravitz. Also, appearing like the nosy drama-craving person he is something Taako tries to save for the fifth date.

“Oh boy,” says Barry.

Magnus stretches his neck to peek at Barry’s phone. “Liches in the necro lab?”

“Please don’t joke about that,” Kravitz says pained.

Barry shakes his head. “Worse. Lup’s found the secret billiards hall.”

“There’s a secret billiards hall?” Magnus asks, excited.

“HA, I knew she’d find it!” Taako exclaims.

Barry seemingly realizing his mistake, tries to backpedal. “No! No, I was joking. Just a small reduction in funding. And, no, thank you, Taako, I don’t need any donations at this time; I really don’t want to explain the notes you leave on the donation check to the dean again.”

It’s cute how he thinks a) that’s enough to fool Taako and b) that Lup’s not going to text Taako the exact same thing which he’ll see when he looks at his phone. “It’s not my fault they misconstrued when I wrote ‘for services rendered’ and ‘as part of the have wood, need sheep trade’.”

“Why would you have wood and need sheep?” Kravitz asks, looking like he instantly regrets saying those words aloud in that order.

“Settlers of Catan, my good dude. You’ll have to come over for game day sometime and play. Last Saturday of the month, and we rotate houses but me ‘n’ Lup are hosting next month’s.” After a moment, he remembers to add, “If that’s something you’d be interested.”

Because while he definitely wants Kravitz to come, he would rather it not be out of forced politeness.

Kravitz seems surprised by the offer. “I’ll have to check my schedule,” he says, offering a tentative smile.

Taako very stealthily fist pumps. 

Kravitz coughs and turns back to Barry. “So, why exactly would Lup (and by extension Taako, and Magnus) finding this apparently secret billiards hall rate an ‘oh boy’ from the usually unflappable Dr. Barry Bluejeans?”

“The twins can give professional hustlers lessons, and have a particular fondness for designer shoes and jackets,” Barry says, looking at Taako’s very nice Chanel jacket slung over the back of a lounge chair. Then his gaze focuses in on Magnus. “Magnus has a habit of ending fights, if not occasionally starting them as well. Lup and Magnus are banned from many, many bars.”

“Not Taako?”

Taako sticks out chest proudly. “I am very good at pulling myself out of trouble, so I’m only banned from maybe three bars.”

Julia snorts, correcting, “He’s banned from _at least_ a dozen. What he means to say is only three in Neverwinter.”

“Some people have no taste.”

Kravitz chuckles. “Apparently not.”

Taako beams and, deciding to take a risk, carefully wrapping his hand around Kravitz's as he suggests, “Wanna go checkout the super secret billiards hall Lup found? Promise I won’t get us thrown out.”

“You couldn’t have at least waited until I walked away?” Barry asks. “And aren’t you supposed to be teaching me how to swim?”

Taako shrugs. “I mean, your lie wasn’t _that_ good. Also, I’ve given you all the basics. All that’s left is practice, and there’s only so much you can do in a day. Much more and we’ll probably have to Levitate you to dinner.”

“Fair,” Barry admits grudgingly.

“So, Krav, billiards?”

“I’ve played once or twice.”

“I can teach you,” Taako offers. “I’ve been told I have a gift for it actually.”

“Not by me,” Barry mutters. Taako elbows him in the ribs.

Wisely, Barry texts Lup for directions without prompting and the three of them head down to the hidden billiards hall.

Kravitz understated his billiards skills in hope of some quality one-on-one with Taako that would, hopefully, not just be him a half step away from a wooden block. He does get some of that, but mainly he gets an eyeful of Barry and Lup nearly draping themselves over each other as they argue over shots. The two men with very fashionable boots they’d been trying to hustle have long since walked off to find another table.

“They’re not actually dating, right?” Kravitz asks Taako quietly.

“Oh, I am 1000 percent sure they're not, thug.” Taako takes one look and sighs deeply. “They’re so sad that, I think for the first and only time ever, Merle would be useful.”

Kravitz squints at Taako. “That’s the...plant dude?”

“Very high, very useless Dwarf cleric whose signature move is Zone of Truth and trying to convert peeps to Panism, so yes, the plant dude.”

Kravitz plants his elbow on the table next to Taako, bumping their shoulders together and trying not to feel like his heart’s about to jump out of his chest. “I’m going to guess you’re referring to the Zone of Truth, over the Panism.”

“Look at those two dinguses and tell me they couldn’t use a little honest heart-to-heart.”

“Maybe they do,” Kravitz says, which is possibly the biggest understatement of his life, “but I’d rather not have both of our voucher voided right now.” 

Taako tilts his head, squinting uncomprehendingly at Kravitz as he asks, “What?” 

Kravitz stares at him for a long moment. “We are in a very similar boat to them,” he says slowly.

Realization slowly dawns on Taako’s face. “Oh. Oooooh. I forgot we were doing,” he drops his voice, leaning in closer to whisper, “fake-date thing.”

Kravitz tries to process that. Taako forgot they were pretending to be a couple to use the couple’s week voucher. Which means...something. That Kravitz isn’t all the way sure isn’t just wishful thinking. 

He asks instead, “You...forgot? How is that something you forget?”

Taako rolls his eyes. “You’re hot as fuck and adorkable, and someone I am definitely not opposed to real dating. If that’s on the table. Also cool if you’re not: Taako knows he’s a luxury few can afford.”

Kravitz is pretty sure his brain’s a 404 error right now. He’s also not entirely sure if this is real or if everything since that morning has been some kind of fever dream.

”As your newly minted boyfriend,” he says, even though none of this has really sunk in yet, except for that goddamn meme, “I would ask that you burn any evidence of owning that sweater. Especially the sweater itself.”

Taako laughs, leaning in close enough their noses are almost touching, their breath mingling between them. Kravitz’s face is very hot now, wow.

“Okay, but imagine: I’m wearing that and nothing else.”

If Kravitz’s brain was in working order, that probably would’ve fried it again. Or maybe it simply double fries, because what comes out of his mouth is ”Is it too soon to ask for a divorce?”

As if that makes any sense. 

It makes Taako laugh though, so apparently Kravitz is still managing to do something right.

Lup looks up from her shot, hearing Taako laugh. He’s leaning on the edge of a billiards table, up close and personal with Kravitz, and positively smitten if his face is anything to go by. Kravitz seems equally enthralled and she watches as his hand creeps over to cover Taako's and _wow._ Lup thought there would be sparks flying this weekend, if nothing else, maybe a date scheduled later. But apparently Taako over there has cracked the Kravitz code in like a day and a half.

“Barry, look over there and tell me what you see,” Lup says.

Barry does. “I think I see two chuckleheads who owe us for life.”

“Good luck collecting on that with Taako.”

“Okay, _one_ chucklehead who owes us for life and his new boyfriend.”

Lup looks at them, then looks at Barry. Barry’s bent over his cue again, lining up a shot with one eye closed and wild, fly away hair from where he roughly toweled dried it. He takes the shot, knocking one ball into the side pocket and another into a corner pocket. He grins and she loves him, she does. 

So fuck it, she decides. Fuck insecurity. She’s Lup, sister of Taako, and she’s done riskier shit for less.

“Hey, Barry, do you come over next Friday and watch a movie?” Lup asks, hands and back suddenly sweaty, her heart beating a mile a minute.

Barry glances up from where he’s lining up his next shot. “I'm game as long as Taako's not putting on the gay German Star Trek parody again.”

Lup laughs, trying not to wince at how shrill it sounds. “Oh, yeah, no, never watching that again,” she says. It’s an out, and she could take it. But not this time. “I meant just the two of us. Like a date.”

Barry freezes. Very slowly, he meets Lup’s eyes. “Date?”

“I mean, it's cool if you don’t,” Lup says, even though it stings. She’ll probably cry for most of the week if he turns her down, but he’s still one of her best friends. She’d get past it eventually. “We can chill as friends with decent taste in movies.” 

“No, no, I'd be into the date thing,” Barry says, straightening abruptly, ears flushed bright red. His cheeks too when Lup looks closer.

“Oh cool cool cool. We should definitely do that then.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

They stare at each, not quite sure what to say or do.

“Hey,” Taako shouts from three tables away, drawing the attention of everyone in the hall, “you two should kiss.”

Thanks to years of honed sibling instinct, Lup wants to do anything except that, but then she looks at Barry bright red but eyes slightly hopeful. She rounds the table to stand next to him.

“You wanna?” she asks shyly.

“I’d love to.”

She tugs him in by the belt loops of his jeans and kisses him like she’s wanted to for years.

Taako wolf whistles, and Barry starts to break away, but Lup just follows him, flipping the bird in Taako’s general direction.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit 1/25 2.0: Added [some short outtakes from this fic (including two that are technically post-story) over on tumblr](https://loboloca.tumblr.com/post/190465935254/wdlsd-outtakes) .


End file.
